The Art of Being: A Stoic Guide to Composure in a Noisy World

There’s a quiet strength that belongs to those who have decided who they are—and then live like it. Epictetus tells us in Enchiridion 33 to begin with this: prescribe to yourself a way of being, a character, and a presence you can maintain whether you’re alone or with others. In this post, I will break the concepts that Epictetus covered in the Enchiridion 33 in more contemporary terms, because, in today’s world of constant distraction and social noise, this advice is not just relevant—it’s revolutionary.

Define Your Character Before the World Does It for You

Start by choosing the kind of person you want to be—not in theory, but in behavior. Then stick to it, come what may. Whether you’re in a meeting or scrolling through social media, don’t drift from the standard you’ve set. Hold that line.And a key part of that standard is restraint—especially in speech.

Talk Less. Say More.

Epictetus wasn’t anti-social, but he was anti-trivial. “Be mostly silent,” he says. If you do speak, keep it short and necessary. And when the moment calls for a deeper conversation, resist the temptation to dive into the shallow end—gossip, celebrity drama, food trends, petty politics.

Conversations aren’t competitions, and they’re not platforms for self-promotion. If you can gently guide a conversation toward something meaningful, do so. But if you find yourself among strangers who live for surface talk, keep your counsel. Silence can be nobler than speech.

Don’t Perform—Be Present

In our culture of curated personalities and filtered lives, Epictetus reminds us to avoid loud laughter, exaggeration, and attention-seeking. Humor is fine—but not when it becomes a performance. It’s dignity that leaves a lasting impression, not cleverness.

Avoid swearing and oath-taking, not because you’re prissy, but because you’re disciplined. Language reveals the state of your soul.

Stay Clear of the Circus

“Public and vulgar entertainments,” Epictetus warns, are not neutral. Even if you’re composed, you absorb the energy around you. Spend enough time in a room of chaos, and some of that chaos will cling to you.

Whether it’s the scroll of TikTok, reality shows, or stadium roars—don’t let the spectacle colonize your inner life. If you must attend, go as a watcher, not as a worshipper. Let the best person win—but don’t become emotionally entangled. And afterward, don’t carry the noise with you.

Simplicity Isn’t Lack—It’s Liberation

In a world of upgrades, Stoicism teaches us the power of sufficiency. Feed, clothe, and house yourself adequately. Don’t turn necessity into luxury. If it shines too brightly or costs more than it’s worth, it may be dimming your character.

Luxury is rarely neutral—it bends your attention toward appearances and away from essence.

Be Strong Without Showing Off

Before marriage, Epictetus says, guard your sexual integrity. That advice, in modern terms, isn’t just about abstaining—it’s about not reducing people to appetites. And if others fall short of this standard, don’t mock or moralize. Your virtue needs no spotlight.

And when people speak poorly of you? Don’t protest. Just smile and say, “They clearly don’t know all my flaws, or they’d have mentioned worse.” That’s Stoic humor.

Show Up Without Needing Applause

Don’t chase social events or private performances. When you do attend, maintain your composure. Let your presence be steady, not showy. You don’t have to stand out—just don’t fall in.

And when dealing with people in power, prepare for indifference. Maybe they ignore you. Maybe the door stays closed. Go anyway—if it’s your duty. And leave without bitterness. The Stoic doesn’t measure worth by reception.

Don’t Narrate Your Life—Live It

It’s tempting to talk about our past struggles, our brave moments, our clever comebacks. But no one enjoys that as much as we do. Let your life speak for itself. And resist the urge to chase laughter or shock value with crude jokes or risky humor. It diminishes you, and your character is worth more than a punchline.

When someone makes an off-color comment, don’t banter back. A quiet look, a moment of silence—that says all it needs to.

In Closing:

Epictetus teaches that your conduct in everyday life—how you talk, dress, listen, attend, and withdraw—is a mirror of your inner world. You are always sending a message. The question is: are you broadcasting your impulses, or expressing your principles?

Modern life gives us countless chances to compromise. Stoicism offers a different path: choose who you are, and live as though that choice matters.

Because it does.